Proposition

I’m talking to a guy who is fairly new to me. I make a habit of not reading their PSI (Pre-Sentencing Investigations). It is not, generally, of interest to me why they are here. He, unusually, wants to talk about why he is here, and how unfair it is that one of the custody folk has revealed his offense: CSC (criminal sexual conduct) Under 13. He assures me both that he is innocent, and that he has transcended the impulses that brought him in to us. Both cannot be true. But when you are horribly misunderstood by society, who can tell? He explains that children are mystically attracted to him, and he just wants them to grow and be happy.

He is a lovely boy, long lashed, skin pale and eyes that dark blue of some Easter European genes. Twenty minutes into the session, he coyly lowers his face, batting those incredible eyelashes at me, “I just have such a need for female companionship.”

I’m not surprised, more disappointed. Sometimes the guys have to put the sexual possibilities out there, and I need to shoot them down. This can be therapeutic. They understand the boundaries, and now they can relax and we can work together. Although I don’t think this is true with this person, I have to give him that escape door, and I’m more ready for it than in the past.

“Are you propositioning me?”

I have taken the murky and made it, dare I say, naked.

He backpedals. I offer that his need is not a mental health issue; that in fact, it is inappropriate. At the same time I know it COULD be a useful topic, but the fact of talking about it could become unhealthy so quickly. I have a strange power as a female in a predominantly male environment. Simply my presence is reinforcing.

Years ago, when covering the local county crisis line, I understood that some people called to engage you in sexual talk to which they masturbated. I don’t want to be a focus of somebody’s venal sexual release. His insight appears to be virtually non-existent; we cannot talk about this in a functional manner.

I’ve clarified, “this is not a mental health issue,” and then excused him. If we go there again, I transfer him to my male supervisor.

The majority of patients I’ve danced this dance with have understood. And the fact that I have carefully rejected their sexual advances while leaving them space to save face is sufficient. They have emerged with relief, and we are able to now do some useful work. But there is the smaller percentage that cannot understand their transgression, and are sure my refusals are a method of assuming innocence before engaging with them in a sexual relationship, something that is actually a felony (for me) in this state.

It is sad, and I feel dirtied. I so wish to help each person find their potential. I suspect he will continue, and I will have to transfer him. One of my own weaknesses is that I get angry too quickly. And then I overcompensate by giving too much latitude; this is a weakness I need to balance. So I pull his PSI.

He had sexual contact with multiple children under the age of five. Some unperceptive person allowed him to be hired into a day care setting.